3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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