You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
