I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he shaved USA in his pubs
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
