I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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