Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
