If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
