Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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