One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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