Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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