I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
