Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
