U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
