eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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