Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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