Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
