I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
