when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
