is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
