I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
