I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
