My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
pray to the hookup gods
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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