My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
