here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
