were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
