So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
