i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
