the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Sorry my hands just texted you
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
