could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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