sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
