your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
