So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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