I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
