You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
