Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
