she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize