Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
