just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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