You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize