yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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