JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize