You're my little dorito
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
