Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He uses pillows to masturbate.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
That accounts for only three of the penises
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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