Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
