your room smells of hookers.
And success
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
