i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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