everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize