Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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