You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Welp...herpes.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
