At least make sure they are 18
Why
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
