There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm at about main and main street
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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