You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
