Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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