just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
