He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
