PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize